The stories you tell yourself and how to reframe them.
I suggest that this activity last for the week or longer, if you are willing to give time each day to help develop your confidence.
This activity requires you to be really honest with yourself and really tuned in, as you need to ‘notice’ when you are doing it.
You notice and then log down any ‘story’ that you tell yourself that affects your confidence, e.g. I’m not good enough, I’ll never develop my confidence, I will never be good at my job, no-one likes me, I don’t need support, etc.
We have to first notice the ‘stories we tell ourselves’ before we can start to reframe them.
Once you’ve logged down the stories you tell yourself – ask yourself, is this story true? It normally isn’t – so you need to be really honest with yourself.
When doing this process, you may have a realisation of why you tell yourself this story, e.g. from events in your childhood. It may be helpful to know where is comes from, but focus is on whether it is TRUE.
See if you can think of situations, feedback from others, opportunities you’ve been given, etc which show that this story isn’t true. What eveidence do you have that proves the story is untrue.
For example, I may tell myself that I am not good enough. However, my husband tells me regularly that he is so lucky to have me, I get very positive feedback from colleagues and I have been promoted many times – so I am good enough.
You may remind yourself that – I have achieved X qualifications, I earn £X, people ask me to get involved with projects as they love my ideas, I can do X, etc.
The facts or evidence do not match the story I am telling myself. So, I need to change the story.
You are going to write a new one…
When I hear the old story of ‘I’m not good enough’, I am going to tell myself I am more than enough, I am great, my husband tells me so, my colleagues tell me so, etc.
I am going to say this out loud ideallyand speak it over myself. As I do this regularly, I will start to believe a new story – one that isn’t holding me back or limiting me – so I can work towards achieving my goals.
Our mindset and the stories we tell ourselves is so important – it’s time for you to write some new chapters, to replace some of your old stories, as well as writing some new endings.
This activity can be life changing, so I would encourage you to engage with it. It isn’t easy – but it so powerful when you re-frame the stories you tell yourself and have told yourself for many years.
As you make changes to the stories you tell yourself, how you view yourself will change and your confidence will grow.
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Get started by booking a free Exploration Call to talk about how I might be able to support you, and if we’d be a good fit.